Week three is a rough one.

2/1 - 2/7

It's not a rough week for training or eating. It's a rough personal and professional week. Work has been formidable, and I spent my two days off this week doing very little, stuck in a mild depression and severe inertia. I've always had problems sleeping, but this week I had an even tougher time. I've read over and over again that it's really important to get just the right amount of sleep to help aid weight loss, and my body wanting to be awake all night and sleep during the day wasn't helping. I tried to trick my brain into thinking it was "nap time" at bed time, but I figured out the ruse after only two nights and was back to lying awake at night wondering why Logan on "Veronica Mars" stays in a suite at the Neptune Grand Hotel and doesn't just get an apartment somewhere. Obviously he can afford it! I'm serious. I was pondering this one night at 2:30 am. I have issues.

But I did go to the gym every day this week (except Saturday); it was my escape. I can put on my headphones, ignore everyone, watch Jersey Shore and roll my eyes at Ronnie and Sammi's ridiculously destructive relationship or when The Situation refers to himself in the 3rd person (side note: both of those happen a LOT and sometimes my contact almost falls out from rolling my eyes so much, but I keep watching). I can watch other fat people working really hard to lose weight on any number of diet shows that are on right now. "I Used to Be Fat" on MTV, "Heavy" on A&E, "Biggest Loser" on NBC. When I'm on the floor doing weights I try not to rock out too hard to my gym play list (Mos Def is awesome for that). Not that I care what other people think when they see me; I spend my time judging others, why shouldn't they spend their time judging me? I probably deserve it. My hair is pretty ridiculous most of the time. Also, I wear a black sports bra under white t-shirts. Classy!

Week two ended with a barrage of drinks (we call them NJ's Soy Rides: chocolate almond milk, whipped cream vodka and creme de cacao. You're welcome.) way too much guacamole and a pound gain. I wasn't going to make the same mistake this week. On Wednesday Elyse (my gym buddy) and I had an at-home happy hour, making our own margaritas, stuffed jalapenos with vegan cream cheese, and delicious halved tomatoes filled with mozzarella, tofu, arugula and balsamic vinaigrette. So so good. And right now I have so much amazing homemade food that I don't know what to eat first. It's a delicious problem to have. I haven't purchased my lunch in days and have enough food stocked up that I could bring my own food to work every day for the foreseeable future. That helps the bank account and the waist line.

Sunday night, the night before weigh in, I take a risk and go over to a friend's house for movies and video games. There's a Chipotle on the way to the house and I found a website that allows me to click what I want to eat and it tell me exactly what I'm getting into. Amazing. I even have a (small) glass of red wine to wash it down.

Monday morning: BAM! 2.5 pounds down! I'm now 192.1 and the smallest I've been for at least seven or eight years. I'll need a belt soon for my new skinny pants I just bought in September. Another five pounds and I'm going to try on my goal jeans again. Hopes are low, but they're also what keep me going. The other thing keeping me going? Knowing that I'll be one skinny bitch.