Spam!

I know this isn't an original complaint, but I'm still fully justified. I get e-mails from AARP. I get e-mails from Runner's World. I get e-mail trying to set me up with Christian singles or to get me signed up for a mortgage.

All of these things could not be any further from the person I am.

I'm not old. I'm not Christian. I don't own a home, and I'm fairly certain if any of these places had access to my credit, even they wouldn't be wasting their time.

And I'm certainly not a runner. I used to cheat in junior high whenever we had to run a mile - I'd cut through the parking lot or something - I hated it back then, and I was just a kid. Now I know that running will be my punishment when I end up in some fiery level of hell. (And yes, I acknowledge that even though I'm not Christian I can still joke about hell. Suck it.)

And though I know there's no specific person or entity from the interweb powers that be that can stop this, after putting up with it for so long, I think it's funny.

Also, I really think I'd like to meet this old, single, Christian runner that's having mortgage problems. Maybe she's me in the future. Maybe she was hanging a picture over her toilet, fell and hit her head and invented the flux capacitor and now... no, I've lost my train of thought. But now I really want to watch Back to the Future.