Losing weight sucks.

Okay, so losing weight doesn't suck, losing weight kicks ass! TRYING to lose weight sucks. Trying really hard and failing is even worse. I've lost significant amounts of weight three times in my life. And I'm only 30.

So here's what you need to know.

When I hit puberty I grew up AND out. I didn't get fat first and grow into it, I grew like eight inches but ate way too much, and obviously not healthy food. Recently Weight Watchers switched their point system so fruit isn't worth anything. Some people moaned and groaned but you know what? We're not fat because we eat too much fruit. Yes, apples and oranges do have sugar in them, but so does the ice cream, so do the Doritos, and so do all those delicious, delicious baked goods.

I'm 5'11''. When I was 21 I weighed 206 pounds. I lost 28 pounds and was pleased with the way I looked. Probably could've lost a few (or 10 or 20) more pounds, but I was a comfy and healthy size 12. I moved out and promptly (over the course of 5 years) gained back all of that and THEN SOME. When I was 26 I was (still 5'11", no huge growth spurts left by now...) 225 pounds. Whoa. That is FAT. So I joined a gym (the 24 Hour Fitness I still go to, I love them) and lost just about 30 pounds, I can't remember exactly. Then I quit my job as a waitress (very active) and became a student again (not active). I still went to the gym, but in April 2009 I got MRSA. It was bad. Really bad. It came and went for six months. Doctors and antibiotics and studies and definitely no gym because I was exhausted and in pain all the time. So I got fat again.

March 2010. I weighed 215 pounds. AGAIN. I'm not saying I gained back all 30 pounds in a year, it definitely took longer than that, but the bulk of it happened during those 10 months. I'm not an emotional eater, I eat when I'm bored. I eat when I read, when I watch tv, on my breaks at work. Even though I'm allergic to everything I found loopholes for carbs and sweets and all my other food mistresses.

In April of 2010, the 24 Fitness I go to closed and moved to a brand new building with brand new equipment down the road. The gym I'd been going to (I mean that in very loose terms for the 18 month prior) was a dungeon. It was ghetto. As ghetto as a gym in NW-not-quite-Beaverton-not-quite-Hillsboro can be.

I have a work out buddy; we mostly do weights together but sometimes cardio and we ALWAYS judge people for their too short shorts or lopsided boob jobs. I count calories every day and try to eat enough (I know right, but eating too few but still bad calories has always been my downfall) by keeping track on an app on my Android. My gym is amazing and the people that work there are awesome. I look forward to seeing them and that's a huge motivator to get there in the first place.

Between May and September 2010 I lost exactly 20 pounds. It was my goal to lose just that before I took a road trip to California. I weighed myself the morning I left town and I was right on, to the tenth of a pound. It was awesome. Then came the tricky part.