Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Dbags aplenty.

Yeah.

You know who you are.

When you go to restaurant and your server (who has been working for 12 hours at this point and is ready for a glass of wine, some Simpsons, and bed) walks up with a smile, says, "Hi, how are you gentlemen doing tonight?" do NOT look at her and say, "Soup?!" like she's wasting your time by making pleasantries. Plus, full sentences are always appreciated.

When your son orders a cheeseburger do not ask (that's too nice a word, we'll go with bark at) him "why not the neon burger?!" When he orders it with tots, don't ask/bark "what about fries?!" It's his dinner, let him order what HE wants.

If you had been nice, probably I wouldn't have dreamed a horrible and fiery death upon you when you ordered a Terminator milkshake at closing even though everything had already been cleaned. If you'd been pleasant, maybe I wouldn't have wished you be stricken with an incurable disease when you decided you wanted this all 'to-go', but this is NOT Las Vegas and you can't take alcohol outside. This is not ANYWHERE IN AMERICA and you can't drive with an alcoholic beverage in your hand. This is when you decided you didn't want the shake I had just hand made for you. Now I'm the bad guy.

Make eye contact. Do not throw money at me. Don't bark orders in my general direction because I'm interrupting your TV watching.

You are the first customer EVER I have not thanked and wished a good night to.

From one control freak with issues to another, you need to loosen the fuck up.

Treat people as though they are your equal, maybe even your better, there's something to be gained from even the most inconsequential interaction.

This is especially true regarding your son. I feel sad for him; you are out of my life forever and I will have forgotten you by tomorrow, but he has to deal with you for the rest of your life.

Hopefully he grows up to be a better man because of it.

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