Every once in a while the empty cavity in my chest where my heart should be feels a faint glimmer of life.
Usually (read: almost always) my road rage knows no bounds. I get annoyed (that's putting it too lightly... angry beyond all rational thought. A fury felt with the heat of a thousand suns.) with people for any action I see as stupid or dangerous. Going too fast. Going too slow. Braking too soon. Braking too late. Tailgating. Leaving too much space. Driving slowly in the left lane. Leaving the blinker on. Inability to pass a bicyclist, garbage truck or mailman. Anything. Everything. I shouldn't be allowed to drive but I am. I shouldn't have a commute but I do. Now on top of the constant rage I get heart palpitations and shortness of breath every time another car looks like it's about to come into contact with mine. And this being Oregon, land of shitty drivers that don't know shit, that's all the time.
Today I accidentally discovered what dispels my road rage: an awesome bumper sticker. I'm not talking a Trail Blazers sticker, an In-n-Out sticker, a PCH sticker, that Oregon sticker with the green heart in it, or an Obama sticker. Not even a very specific quote from The Simpsons on a sticker. I've had every one of those on my various cars and while I appreciate the solidarity it in no way dissuades the road rage. Not even a little bit. So what could this magical sticker possibly say that would allow forgiveness for the flagrantly disrespectful move of leaving an extra car length in front of them at a stop light? (Seriously my wrath has no limits...)
"My brother is autistic and bad-ass". Love it. Anger dissipated.
PS-The Simpsons bumper sticker I had was one my best friend made exclusively for me and subsequently caused people to honk at me constantly, only adding to my road rage before I remembered the sticker was there. "Honk if you demand satisfaction." Bonus points if you remember which episode that was from.
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