Terminator 2 = why I will never like Robert Patrick

I've been single for a long time. 

I like being single. I'm very busy and important and independent and don't have the time or patience or basic listening skills that are needed for a relationship. It's also the reason I don't have pets or children or plants. I murdered a cactus once and wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Self-righteous bitch of a cactus. Being single is a semi-conscious choice, mostly because I find most people boring. 

That's not saying I don't like talking to people, men or women, in fact I love it. But any sustained interest in anyone doesn't usually last past the check-out line at New Seasons. Because I'm so good at making single serving friends, I don't have what some people would consider "normal" conversations. I don't like to talk about the weather, your (or my) work, or what anyone went to college for. (Seriously, one of my best friends is in grad school and I have NO idea what for because even though I've been told multiple times, I don't actually care so it's never been retained.) 

So because I don't (can't) have conversations like a normie I feel I tend to scare away any potential boys (men? Not in Portand) that would buy me food and beer so I don't have to go grocery shopping. I make way more herpes jokes than any one person should. I speak almost exclusively in Futurama or Simpsons quotes. My sarcasm borders on sardonic (nope, it's pretty damn derisive all the time) and I get made fun of for using big words in casual conversation. I swear too much and drink a lot. It doesn't take longer than 10 minutes with me to know I'm slightly unbalanced and definitely unhinged and it doesn't take me more than 10 minutes with someone to know I don't give a shit. 

Here's a snippet from a recent conversation I had with a gentleman: 

ME: "Do you know what date Skynet became self-aware? I can never remember exactly but I always get a little nervous in August."

HIM: "I don't know what that means."

ME: "Seriously? Terminator 2. Joe Morton. Linda Hamilton. No?"

HIM: "I don't really watch a lot of TV."

Gross. No. Over it like a hipster. 

Yes, I brought up a Joe Morton vehicle within 3 minutes of meeting someone new but there are SO many (116 according to IMDb.com) of them it's bound to happen sooner or later right? I'm not writing this as some kind of new year's resolution to get engaged or start acting normally around people I don't know or even to write more. Resolutions fail all the time. I'm writing this because I still can't believe that guy didn't know what Terminator was and I needed a story to go with it.

PS- "I know now why you cry." Also it was August 29th. In 1997. I think we're in the clear.